Episode 196: Discover the Spectrum of Self-Esteem—Unlearn the BS [featuring Donna Oriowo]

In this episode, Patrick Casale speaks with Dr. Donna Oriowo, an award-winning DEI advocate, international speaker, and certified sex and relationship therapist, as she discusses the complexities of self-esteem, particularly for Black women navigating supremacist and patriarchal cultures. Her perspective on self-esteem being shaped by collective experiences, rather than just individual actions, is powerful and eye-opening.

3 Key takeaways:

1. Self-esteem is not created in a vacuum: Dr. Donna reminds us that our sense of self-worth is deeply influenced by generational, cultural, and systemic forces—it's not simply a personal failing if you struggle.
2. Authenticity carries risks—especially for marginalized identities: Being "yourself" isn’t always safe, and the ongoing negotiation between authenticity and safety can be exhausting. It’s crucial to acknowledge the price people pay just to exist as themselves.
3. Community is essential for healing and growth: Dr. Donna encourages us to seek out affirming relationships and supportive spaces, reminding us that self-esteem and healing aren’t solo journeys—they’re collective processes.

More about Donna:

Dr. Donna Oriowo (oreo-whoa!) LICSW, CST, is an award-winning DEI advocate, international speaker, and certified sex and relationship therapist in the Washington D.C. metro area. Dr. Donna is the owner of private practice, AnnodRight, which specializes in working with Black women on issues related to colorism and texturism and its impacts on mental and sexual health. Dr. Donna specializes in working with Black women to feel Free, Fabulous, and F*cked! She is the author of Cocoa Butter & Hair Grease: A Self-Love Journey Through Hair and Skin and the host of a biweekly community space for Black women called In My Black Feelings. Dr. Donna collects inspiring quotes, eats donuts, loves pasta, travels to learn, gives COVID-safe handshakes, warm hugs, and (figurative) knocks on the head. 

Donna's book is called: Drink Water & Mind Your Business: A Black Woman's Guide to Unlearning the BS and Healing Self-Esteem

Dr. Oriowo served as DEI Co-chair and Communications Steering Committee Chair for AASECT. She is a member of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network (WOCSHN). She can be found on social media @Dr.DonnaOriowo. OR you can visit her on the interwebs at DonnaOriowo.com.

• Instagram: instagram.com/dr.donnaoriowo
• TikTok: tiktok.com/@dr.donnaoriowo
• Threads: threads.net/@dr.donnaoriowo
• Grab her book: drinkwaterbook.com

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Thanks to Our Sponsors: The Receptionist for iPad, Alma, & All Things Private Practice — 2025 & 2026 Retreats!

✨ The Receptionist for iPad

Thanks to The Receptionist for iPad for sponsoring this episode.

The Receptionist offers an iPad list check-in option where clients can scan a QR code to check in, which negates the need for you to buy an iPad and stand. Go to thereceptionist.com/privatepractice and sign up for a free 14-day trial. When you do, you'll get your first month free. And don't forget to ask about our iPad list check-in option.

✨ Alma

Thanks to Alma for sponsoring this episode.

Building and managing the practice you want can be challenging. That’s why Alma offers tools and resources to help you build not just any practice, but your private practice. They’ll help you navigate insurance, access referrals who are the right fit for you, and efficiently manage administrative tasks — so you can spend less time on the details and more time delivering great care. You support your clients. Alma supports you. Visit helloalma.com/ATPP to learn more.

✨ All Things Private Practice — 2025 & 2026 Retreats

All Things Private Practice has some amazing retreat experiences coming up in 2025 and 2026.

Join us in Edinburgh, Scotland, for the second Doubt Yourself, Do It Anyway Summit from July 14th to 17th, 2025! We have an incredible lineup of 12 speakers and offer 12 MBCCEs. If you're a leader or aspiring to start a group practice, join our Leadership Retreat in Chania, Crete, from September 6th to 11th. In 2026, we have two retreats in Queenstown, New Zealand. The first is for Neurodivergent Entrepreneurs from March 1st to 8th, and the second retreat, Beyond Private Practice, focuses on moving beyond one-on-one therapy and creating alternative income streams from March 15th to 22nd.

Spaces are limited, so check the links to sign up today. Doubt yourself, do it anyway!

• Doubt Yourself, Do It Anyway Summit in Scotland: empoweredescapes.com/scotland-july-2025-summit
• Leadership Retreat in Chania, Crete: empoweredescapes.com/greece-retreat-2025
• Neurodivergent Entrepreneurs in Queenstown, New Zealand: allthingspractice.com/new-zealand-neurodivergent
• Beyond Private Practice in Queenstown, New Zealand: allthingspractice.com/new-zealand-income-streams

Mentioned in this episode:

The Receptionist for iPad

I want to thank The Receptionist for iPad for sponsoring this episode. From new patients faced with an empty lobby and no idea where to find their therapist to clinicians with a session running over time and the doorbell ringing, some of the most anxiety-ridden moments of a therapy appointment happen before a session even starts. The Receptionist for iPad, helps you tackle some of that pre-appointment apprehension and anxiety. The Receptionist for iPad is an easy-to-use digital client check-in system that helps your visitors check in securely to their appointments and notify their practitioners of their arrival via SMS, email, or your preferred channel. No more confusion, and less lobby checking or having clients sign in on paper logbooks. It can even help you upgrade and update your demographic information for your clients as well and even validate parking. Start a 14-day free trial of the Receptionist for iPad by going to thereceptionist.com/privatepractice. Make sure to start your trial with that link and you'll also get your first month free if you decide to sign up.

Alma

I want to thank Alma for sponsoring this episode. Building and managing the practice you want can be challenging. That’s why Alma offers tools and resources to help you build not just any practice, but your private practice. They’ll help you navigate insurance, access referrals who are the right fit for you, and efficiently manage administrative tasks — so you can spend less time on the details, and more time delivering great care. You support your clients. Alma supports you. Visit helloalma.com/ATPP to learn more.

All Things Private Practice — 2025 & 2026 Retreats

All Things Private Practice has some amazing retreat experiences coming up in 2025 and 2026. Join us in Edinburgh, Scotland for the second Doubt Yourself, Do It Anyway Summit from July 14th to 17th, 2025! We have an incredible lineup of 12 speakers and offer 12 MBCCEs. If you're a leader or aspiring to start a group practice, join our Leadership Retreat in Chania, Crete, from September 6th to 11th. In 2026, we have two retreats in Queenstown, New Zealand. The first is for Neurodivergent Entrepreneurs from March 1st to 8th, and the second retreat, Beyond Private Practice, focuses on moving beyond one-on-one therapy and creating alternative income streams from March 15th to 22nd. Spaces are limited, so check the links to sign up today. Doubt yourself, do it anyway! Doubt Yourself, Do It Anyway Summit in Scotland: https://www.empoweredescapes.com/scotland-july-2025-summit Leadership Retreat in Chania, Crete: https://www.empoweredescapes.com/greece-retreat-2025 Neurodivergent Entrepreneurs in Queenstown, New Zealand: https://www.allthingspractice.com/new-zealand-neurodivergent Beyond Private Practice in Queenstown, New Zealand: https://www.allthingspractice.com/new-zealand-income-streams